While it’s widely known what an intelligence quotient (IQ) is, the score that averages a person’s overall intelligence with their peers based on a variety of standardised tests, many people may not know much about emotional intelligence (EI). Emotional intelligence is a person’s ability to understand and differentiate between their own emotions and the emotions of others, as well as being able to express them appropriately. Emotional intelligence is both a social and emotional skill that can aid you in understanding yourself and those around you in a healthier way. If a person doesn’t understand emotions and how they’re expressed they may find it difficult to connect and relate to other people. This type of person may also struggle when it comes to regulating their own internal emotions. The higher a person’s emotional quotient (EQ), the more likely it is that they will be able to understand and utilise coping skills that improve their relationships with others and their own mental health.
American psychologist Daniel Goleman defines emotional intelligence as involving these 5 main characteristics:
Self-Awareness – A key sign of high emotional intelligence is the ability to understand, process, and regulate thoughts, feelings, and emotions. Those who understand that the way they are thinking or feeling is not directly related to their behaviour often have a high EQ and display significantly less mental health symptoms.
Self-Regulation- Self-regulation involves using coping skills to help regulate emotions. People who can identify healthy ways to cope with negative emotions on the whole feel more in control of themselves, their emotions and their lives.
Motivation- Those with a higher EQ are often those who seem to have more energy, are more driven to accomplish tasks, demonstrate more willingness to try things to see if they will work, and tend to worry less.
Empathy- Having a higher EQ makes a person more understanding and connected to their own emotions and needs so they tend to be much more aware of the feelings and needs of others. To be empathetic is to be able to sense or feel another person’s emotions and to respond accordingly. These people will also have a greater understanding of their own feelings.
Social Skills- The ability to connect and engage in comfortable and comforting ways with others is a skill that is easy for individuals with a higher EQ, as they are more interested in being social and friendly. These people have sound conflict resolution skills and can deescalate problems before they become more serious or difficult.
It is possible to increase your EQ to understand the emotions of yourself and others, especially with professional help. Mental health professionals specialise in helping people understand the way that thoughts, feelings, and behaviour are connected.